Over the past couple of years, I have struggled with the complications, misunderstandings, and altercations that an online presence can manifest into our physical lives. How other people’s issues can seep into our consciousness, and into the reflections of our thoughts.

An example would be my film on depression, So, hopefully without descending into some kind of wallowing sanctimonious essay on the effect that other people can have on us through the pathways of cyberspace – please dear reader afford me this opportunity to say enough is enough. Pause. Let me rewind.

A number of weird things have happened lately, and I am writing this post as an open letter to anyone who knows me, has known me, or takes an interest online in some way or another, because I have felt your negativity. Or perhaps you’re quite fond of me and we still enjoy a valued connection, because that is felt very strongly and consistently too. Any which way, be you affectionate or resentful, if you’re still reading this then I rather doubt that you are indifferent to me, and so it is for you dear reader that I write. Because I have, quite frankly, had enough of the bizarre activity.



Forgiveness, acceptance, and healing is far more urgent than fighting with one another and whipping up trouble, particularly when based on second and third-hand whispers, gossip or presumptions – in this digital age it is unhealthy and confusing for people when things are done in the dark. I urge anyone who has built up an opinion about me or any of my actions, without talking to me directly, to actually speak to me. Wild idea, I know.

What we choose to float out into cyberspace carries an echo into the consciousness of the receiver. Stop fighting, wanting to change people, start listening and understanding and communicating with compassion and lucidity.

The seconds of our lives are running away, and as Arcade Fire sing so very expertly…

“After all the breath, and the dirt, and the fires that burn, and after all this time, and after all the ambulances go. And after all the hangers-on are done. Hanging on to the dead lights of the afterglow. I’ve gotta know. Can we work it out?”


9 thoughts on “PAUSE…

  1. Knowing you as I did, you will delete this. Yous seem to delete anything you see as faintly critical even if it is not. This post was a hold load of self indulgence in the extreme. Why do you think you are so, so,so special to constantly bang on about the ‘poor me’ thing that it is at the heart of you. Get real and grow up. If you want to spend years sticking the poor me/self indulgence thing up your arse so be it. I have never known anyone to talk so much about themselves. You, you and more you. Enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poor David, what a really horrible life you have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pathetic,

  2. I never delete any comments on any of my posts on here, and I’ve had a controversial thread in the past. So that’s how well you know me. I don’t groom feedback to just be positive, and I feel anything but poor me. This is synchronistic actually because I was just reading an old post you’d written on my film here, on my blog – a beautiful one without so many unsightly exclamation marks, and I was still really touched by it. Missed you being there, and now here you are, how amazing.

    So I’ll happily leave this comment where it is too. Thank you. It is proof of how misunderstandings can manifest. We’re all special, that’s the point of the blog post… but how do I make that point if I don’t write about what I know, and I’m afraid I only know my own experiences. You do realize that this is my own personal online journal? It’s bound to be about ME me me. Just wondering why you’re so switched onto me, if I am so bad that you can become so vexed.

    Anyway, I’m happy with my shit. There’s no poor me at my heart, and what lay at my heart is none of your damn business, you’ve never met me. Philip, I feel no need to explain myself any further, so go ahead respond and vent your angry self, I’ll leave it here, but I will not be responding to you again.

  3. David, Phillip’s comment illustrates how people can truly only see their own level. For me your open letter was an honor to read and witness your experiences of ‘Kensho’ – (Japanese word for an awakening). You share your inner most process with us, how you saw yourself. willing to take accountability, Rather than getting stuck in projections and suffering, you went for the higher MMP (material manifestation point), discarding of as much subjectivity as possible and see what diamonds of truth shake. Thank you for sharing your inner core – it lifts me up too.

    Enough hungry ghosts – we want people who beam

    1. Thank you, Linda.

      The previous comment is painting by numbers, thinks he has me pegged through his own projections and the few meaningful interactions we once shared, but he is missing a number of important digits to complete the picture, and that’s where I feel his frustration manifests. I am fine with his feedback – if anything, it illustrates so clearly what I was talking about in my post, and yet my post wasn’t any reflection on him at all. We parted ways online for altogether different reasons, and my post refers to the cogs that turn in my immediate life and reality – not a casual internet interaction.

      Anyway, MMP ! You so eloquently articulate the cognitive processes of being awake, and you’re such an owl. Your study on Arica enlightens me, you’re inspirational in a myriad of ways, and you are precisely what I refer to in my post, a person who uses the internet to connect with people in a truly altruistic, supportive and insightful manner in order that we all learn from one another and progress. I am a better person for knowing you.


  4. ‘It takes more courage to examine the dark corners of your own soul than it does for a soldier to fight on a battlefield’
    These words by William Butler Yeats came to our minds, reading your post, David.
    We do think you have that courage.
    To dig deep into your soul and take us through the path of the journey of your past couple of years, and introduce us to the different kinds of people you met, focusing mainly on those you met on the waves on the Internet, through the wires on the web.
    The ones who brought negativity, the ones who tried to change you, the ones who wanted to save you from a danger, that was real only in their minds, the ones who used and abused you, also the one you thought was close to you, and who betrays you.
    But also the ones you tried to get out of your life, maybe misunderstanding their feelings, in your darkest days, and to whom you offer your apologies. Think it is never so easy to say you are sorry.
    And also the bunch of people that are still your friends. Who sailed through those wild waves with you, and never left the ship.
    You are talking to each of them. You are opening your soul. And they know who they are.
    And at the same time, through this dialogue with them, that is also an inner dialogue, you make us dig into the complexity of ‘virtual’ relationships.
    Sometimes they suddenly come to life, seem to grow roots, but dissolve the same way, in a blink of an eye.
    Not a word. Not a question. Just the far sound of a click.
    So much different from relationships in the flesh.
    They are faster, they can reach us from the other side of the world, they can be less involving, they require just a click to come, and a click to go.
    As Zygmunt Bauman said, we are living in a liquid world: bonds are loose, and everything flows faster.
    But we think that is not worse, not better. That depends just on us.
    We just need the courage to look at ourselves and, whatever we decide to do, always stick to our integrity and honesty, first to us. That’s what you said, what you have always struggled for, what made you what you are now, as an artist and as a a man, and we agree perfectly, that this must be the light that leads us throughout our lives. The more we are able to look into our darkest corners, the clearer they get. Till your soul becomes crystal clear. And we know you are already there, bro!

    1. Really, ladies. What can I say?

      I am always galvanized by your perspective and your unique narrative. Even when you’ve given me critically constructive advice, I could never disagree. You make me see so much. What words would quantify the gratitude, respect, and love that I have for you both? What words would truly give thanks to the support encouragement and guidance that you have shown me? Not so many, and so I can only but leave you with a rather ineffectual thank you, but knowing that you know my gratitude anyway, a thank you will indeed suffice right now…

      Thank you


  5. Giano…what you wrote is exquisite beyond words. You see David’s process with complete clarity. I never thought of cyber relationships in that way…..a click away or the sudden loss of a click..I wasted a whole week of suffering because of a far away final click..for what?

    I am so lucky that I I found my cyber clique. 🙂

    David, your sweet words only confirm that we are kindred spirits and so fortunate to meet out here in the land of wifi….I was with you as you navigated the wild waves of betrayal, you transmuted that energy through creativity and raw self-reflection…who knew the light would come pouring in? Your experiences seem to have given you a whole new path as a writer..keep writing, you have a real talent.

    besos mi amor

    1. Oh Linda, thank you. The Giano sisters have remarkable clarity, don’t they!? like a hot knife through butter. They see, feel and project nothing but the truth, and they have far more tolerance than I do. I must work on that. Anyway, I was honored to spend a wonderful and inspiring week with them in Milan, Italy and they are a large part of my own personal journey, likewise, I am part of theirs… I will connect you guys on twitter. We are all on the same page, and I am so grateful and happy and contented that we walk this path together.

      It puts me in mind of Charles Haanel who wrote in his book that, “You must see the picture more and more complete, see the detail, and, as the details begin to unfold the ways and means for bringing it into manifestation. One thing will lead to another. Thought will lead to action, action will develop methods, methods will develop friends, and friends will bring about circumstances, and, finally, the third step, or Materialization, will have been accomplished.”

      We have incredible powers at our disposal, and I did, you are quite right – transmute both positive and negative, masculine and feminine energy through my creativity, and that raw self-reflection has been the gate to which I have uncovered the drive, determination, understanding and belief in my ultimate calling, which is to finish writing my book on the wondrous gift that is the law of attraction.

      My experiences have given me a whole new path, and by thinking (visualizing) from the end result down to my current days, I have known for some time, how to manifest our reality as part of the process, and I have a wealth of sharp examples that I intend to share with any good soul who wishes to hear it, because it is good advice that I believe carries a universal message.


      1. Thank you both so much guys, Linda and David. We feel so lucky that one day, one of those clicks brought us to meet you, David, along the path of our lives, and that ‘virtual’ became more real and concrete, day by day. Sharing thoughts, helping one another, living the highest and the lowest moments. With the right words, at the right time, and the silences, when needed.
        As we said, it is up to us to make those clicks ‘thicker’, and to fill them with significance, and that way find someone who will be our eyes, our hands, our hearts, and help us accomplish the bigger picture of life.

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